Christmas Party for the Win

This past Thursday was my husbands Command Christmas Party. I was pretty excited about this because even though John has been at his command for about two and a half years, this was the first one we were able to attend. The first year John was on duty, and last year he was TAD to another ship and was gone when his home ship had their Christmas party.

John's parents were so kind and agreed to watch Eleanor. Poor baby had just had shots the day before and was pretty fussy. I was hesitant to leave E, because she was so fussy, but John talked me into going.
So we got all dressed up and fancy and were ready to go.

Here we are all fancied up and ready to go! I would like to say I was pretty classy. And so was J =)

On our way to the party, John forewarned me that people were going to get drunk. Hammered would probably be a better word. He had heard stories of past Christmas parties of people who danced on tables, went home with people they regretted the next day and so on. So I thought I knew what to expect. However, When I got there for cocktail hour, I realized this was going to be so much more than just drunk folks going nutters. This party was a fashion show for ladies to show off, after being in a blue uniform all year long. This was also a chance for ship couples to show off their new relationships. During the cocktail hour I took a look around at everyone coming in and thought to myself "Oh my. Didn't their mothers teach them better" There were men showing up in jeans and a T-shirt. There were dudes with ugly sweaters and tennis shoes. There were girls in dresses so short, they had to walk with their hands on their dress to keep in covering their who-ha, Literally. There were ladies back missing out of their dresses and had back-fat spilling over their poor, unsupported straps. It was atrocious. It was then that I got the idea to take pictures, like a stalker and write about this.
Note: The Theme of the party was a Masquerade. Therefore some of these folks have masks on. Also, I took all these pictures on my iPhone and most people didn't know I was taking these. So I apologize in advance for some of them being poor in quality.
So without further a due, I present to you:
THE 2014 COMMAND CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

I am going to start with all the men first. Partly because they are sad and funny, partly because I want to save the best for last.
The winner of the most under-dressed man goes to this guy:

Complete with a T-shirt too big for him, black jeans that don't go with the too-big back shirt, a cheap mask ( that he shouldn't have been wearing because this was a masquerade ball for people who were dressed for a formal party!), and Navy-issue tennis shoes.
I really hope this guy was fresh out of boot camp and didn't have time to go shopping before the Christmas party, because this is unacceptable.

The next category is the Ugly Sweater award. And it goes to this guy:

The guy had a ten-point buck on his chest. He also was wearing converse. Can I please take this dude shopping?

Runners-up are these guys:

Homie on the left had a Pug with reindeer antlers on it. And the dude on the right had penguins, polar bears and anchors... I guess he was thinking "Anchors Aweigh"? Sorry its not a good picture. By the time I got this, a lot of people (not including me) were pretty hammered. The guy blocking my picture was one of them. =)

The next award of the evening is called "The 'I think I am so fly' Award"

This genius had on a metallic suit (Nice) great looking tie, which wasn't pictured (nice), and Jordan's (also, nice, but not WITH the suit.)

The most prestigious award of the night for the means category is the "Douche Bag" award. And its a tie, this year.

These two dudes thought it would be a great idea to get these tux's and dress up as Dumb and Dumber. What is even better, is that another two dudes had the same idea. Yes, that's right. There were TWO PAIRS of these guys. This was supposed to be a Masquerade party, not Halloween 2.0.
Not sure if you can see it, but they also had matching canes to go with their "outfits".
Oh my.

Lets take a break in our Christmas Pageant to share some other pictures. Here we have one of John's friends that sat at our table. He got a little liquor happy. He was having too much fun, so I decided to document =)

He decided to dance in his seat. But jokes aside, he is a really good guy and so is his wife! And I hear he is pretty good at his job too.

Next we have anther one of John's co-workers. Poor girl. Her Boyfriend is deployed and didn't have a date to the party. So she took the centerpiece, and called it her "date". Don't worry y'all, she was sober! Which makes all the more silly!

So, this is Sarah and her date, Eli (her boyfriends name). And might I add, her dress was super cute!! I am LOVING the navy blue lace.

Then, some friends at the table offered to take our picture. I thought it was super sweet. For like a second. They took my phone and instead of taking our picture, they took a selfie. But I wasn't mad. I thought it was funny, and John and I did the same thing to someone else just a few minutes later.

But here we are! We actually got our picture taken.

Stay tuned for the ladies edition of the Christmas Parade Pageant! You don't want to miss it.