When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited that I was finally going to be a mother. I had watched my mom be such a wonderful a mother to me, my sister, and even some of my friends who didn't have good motherly role models. I read article after article on how to be a good parent. I spent hours pouring over various website on which products had best reviews, advice on how to breastfeed, best kinds of diapers and so on. I talked to my mom for hours on end, talking to her and sharing my dreams on how awesome it was, that I was going to be a mom, and that I would make my mom a Nana for the third time.
However, I only saw her twice while I was pregnant. Living almost 1000 miles away, my mom and I never had the chance to be in each others company on a daily basis. She got to see pictures of my growing belly, but not see me in person until I was 28 weeks. It's hard not seeing my mom as it is, but being pregnant made it that much harder for me. But of course, I tried to be strong and not show how much I really missed my mommy. There were times when I would just get overwhelmed and call mom to just cry. Being the great mom she is, would cry right along there with me. I knew she cried for two reasons: she was upset that her child was having such a hard time, but she was upset that she couldn't be there for me physically. She couldn't just reach over and give me a big hug.
I thought it was hard being away from family while being pregnant, but actually having a baby and being away from family is so much worse. The moment I had Eleanor, the first person I wanted to call and tell was my mom. Literally 5 minutes after I had her, I called my mom and just cried and told her that Eleanor was here. She couldn't be there with me or there directly afterwards because she was in Florida, and I was in Virginia. I know she wanted to be there. She wanted to be there so bad. She just literally could not get there in time. My labor was less than 5 hours and even if she hopped on a plane the minute I went into labor, she still probably would not have made it.
My mom did finally get to come and visit with us for about a week, but the minute we had to say goodbye, we were crying like babies (and if you know me, you know I don't cry). Since then, there have been quite a few occasions that I have called my mom because I didn't know what to do. "I don't know whats wrong. She cries all the time." "I hurt my back again, mom. I don't know what to do. I hurt so bad." "shes always hungry. Every hour shes hungry. I don't know if I can do this." Each time this happens, she quietly waits for me to finish, she cries with me if I am in tears, and gently reminds me that everything will be alright. She offers her advice and tells me that I can do it.
I said all of that to say this: I love my mom so so so much. I hate it everyday that I cant see her, and that she cant see Eleanor growing up. But I do want others to realize just how lucky they have it. So many others take their mothers for granted. So many people have their moms live just minutes up the street. They can go over to their mom's house any time and eat a sandwich while Nana plays with the baby. New mama's can have their moms come over to take care of the baby for a little while, or clean up the house just a little while. They can go to doctors appointments for moral support when their child gets their shots. They ALWAYS have a willing babysitter to take the baby for a few hours so you can go out with your hubby to eat. Or go grocery shopping. LOL Not everyone has a support system.
I do have a wonderful Mother-in-law, whom I love very much. She is a great woman, who raised the man that I married. But she raised my hubby, not me. And I am so grateful that she only likes about 45 minutes away and keeps Eleanor when she can, but she has health issues sometimes and can't always come when I have a bad day. But my Mom. My mom was one who stayed up with me all night long when I broke my wrist. And taught me how to sew. My mom is the one who taught me how to be a great Sunday School teacher, she taught me to care for children, she taught me how to care for others, taught me to be a gracious person. She taught me to not rely on others to get he job done. She taught me to volunteer. She taught me to pray. She taught me to be the best mother that I can possibly be.
I love my Mom. =)
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